Today as I sat in my closet, deciding what to do about the last few things left in it (Keep? Throw out? Attempt to pack for Japan?), it all hit me at once. I guess it was triggered by the fact that my new organization technique is based on deciding whether or not something brings you joy in order to help you evaluate whether or not it should remain in your life. If it no longer brings you joy, you should get rid of it. I was having a lot of trouble with these last few things because they do still bring me joy, and yet, I can't fit them in my suitcase for Japan. I started crying as I realized that I'm leaving behind so many things that bring me comfort: my friends and family, my things that remind me of special times in my life, my kitty (who is the sweetest kitty there ever was). I've been working so hard to focus on just my excitement and not let myself focus too much on what I'm leaving behind. But in light of our final goodbyes to so many people yesterday, and packing up and selling the last things in our apartment (it is almost bare after today), I finally hit my breaking point.
Fortunately, my sweet husband found me in a puddle of tears and knew to just hold me and let me cry it out. The artist of these pictures, who goes by Puuung, has stolen my heart. Her drawings capture love and life so well, and so many of them I look at and think she must be drawing my life with Joe. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.
©Puuung (http://www.grafolio.com/creator/detail.grfl?creatorId=puuung1)
©Puuung (http://www.grafolio.com/creator/detail.grfl?creatorId=puuung1)
©Puuung (http://www.grafolio.com/creator/detail.grfl?creatorId=puuung1)
©Puuung (http://www.grafolio.com/creator/detail.grfl?creatorId=puuung1)
I reiterate that I know it will be worth it, and I truly am excited about all of the new memories we will make together. I know that our apartment in Japan will become a cozy home for us and we will find new friends and new places to hang out. Unfortunately, our kitty will just have to wait back home for us. :(
It was healthy to get out those emotions and I know it is completely normal for me to be feeling that way. Crying it out truly did help me feel better and I am back to keeping my eyes on the future instead of focusing on what is being left behind.
I trust that God has a big, exciting, amazing, fun plan for us in Japan. I know that leaving behind so many things will help me grow as a person and will teach me new things about myself and those around me. Others seem to sum up my emotions better than me, whether through pictures or writing. So I end by saying that I am not quite ready to move to Japan, but to borrow someone else's words, I want to trust in God's plan by living a life and having an adventure that is "too big to be ready for."*
*(Snippet taken from this blog post, which I should say I do not agree with everything said in it - but I liked the way she phrased that: http://www.abigailmarygreen.com/blog/2015/4/3/the-day-i-decided-to-stop-listening-to-what-everybodys-saying-im-supposed-to-do-why-im-not-ready-to-get-married-in-44-days)
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